The Decision

I've been struggling lately to determine whether or not a particular path is one carved out by God or yours truly. Some days I look like this when I'm contemplating life direction and other days I'm hiding in a pillow fort on my bedroom floor while pretending to still be five years old. 

I'm great at telling Jesus what I think is a good and right path to traverse, but I've learned over the years (and many wrong turns) that I actually do not want to walk a road that isn't directly in His footsteps.  I either get into trouble or depression or both. It's no bueno. Thus, the current crossroads before me has been accompanied by mild to moderate anxiety, so I went to the Mayor's Prayer Breakfast in Irvine a few days ago to see if I could get a fresh perspective.  Speaking at the gathering was former mafia boss, Michael Franzese who now spends his days walking out the Great Commission (Matthew 28:16-20).  Once a top dog mobster caporegime, or "captain" of the Colombo crime family, Michael is able to giftedly transcend boundaries between sinner and saint.  He was a captivating speaker, and as he shared intimate details of his darkest days that led him to the Cross of Christ, I wondered why it was so difficult for me, or any of us for that matter, to make decisions.  A former mob boss deciding to leave the mafia and preach the gospel is a decision most of us won't ever face, but Franzese did.  Can you face the decisions of your life with boldness and courage?  Can I?  If God is who God says He is (Exodus 3:14), and I'm genuinely seeking to abide in His will, then the outcome is blessed no matter what.  In Revelation 22:13, He says that He is the "Alpha and Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End" which tells me that His presence is with me no matter what I decide.  He has already gone before me and is at the end of it all waiting for me there too. What internal wrestling match are you in today?  Friend, your desire to please God and walk in His ways is not lost on Him, so if you're struggling to discern His will, breathe.  Let go, take the step, and make the decision.  

Why do we wrestle so much (Genesis 32:22-32) with making decisions? Fear of making the wrong one perhaps.  Concern about what others will think or say? 😨 

The implications for your future?  For me, it has been all of the above at different points on my life map. In recent years, I've grown out of caring too much what others think or say, but I still occasionally find myself gripped with fears of making the wrong decision. 

                                                                                  👀

Most of the time, however, I'm confident enough in the Lord's Spirit with me (Joshua 1:9) that I work through those fears fairly fast. That's a lie. Let me remove the word "fast" from the last statement and just leave it as "I work through the fears." 

 It's the implications for my future type of stuff that leaves me bogged down under the weight of my own contemplations.  For instance, if I decide to expand my business to another location, what does that necessitate for my tomorrows?  A lot more work, for starters.  Or, if I decide to cut back on my private practice hours to invest more energy into my family's nonprofit, it implies a severely reduced income for now.  There are implications and "what ifs" within every decision we make, and it's not an unworthy use of time to explore them, at least moderately.  Luke 14:28 admonishes us to "count the cost" of anything we decide to undertake, of which failing to do would only invite more stress.  So, while it's good and wise and useful to count the costs, explore the potential outcomes, and consider the most prudent steps, I urge you to not go overboard.  At some point, we all have to simply leave the outcome in God's hands. If you've prayed up, tallied up the numbers, researched, and consulted with sage advisors and godly counsel, then you've done your part.  Now decide.  

It is far easier to decide what to have for dinner (unless you're part of my household, then it is absolutely up there with career choices and marriage plans - the pics you see depict our emotional process of food selection 😂) than it is to take one job over the other or marry the right person or how to care for aging parents.  

We have found food we agree upon

Did she just say "NO" to sushi?

Giving in to her vegan request

It's about to get serious

                                                  Where to eat - so it begins

Your life may be far more complicated today than deciding where to eat or what dress to purchase.  Maybe you're planning a loved one's funeral or contemplating on whether to start a new business.  You're trying to determine whether to stay in your 27 year marriage or leave.  Your teenager is addicted to heroine and you are contemplating what treatment facility to choose.  Your life hasn't turned out as planned and your next steps seem critical.  Isaiah 58:11 says "The Lord will guide you always," but what happens when you don't sense His voice?  It's a tough gap to be in, my friend, and the path ahead is most definitely not always visible.  When you see nothing but fog, just take the next step. Take the next breath.  He is with you in the decision and He's with you in the outcome (Matthew 28:20), so lay down the fears, the hesitations, and the worry.  If only for a moment, exhale them all away for just long enough to decide, and then make the decision.  

In honor of taking the leap and making decisions, I leave you with this Van Halen video. If it doesn't inspire you to jump into whatever it is you're afraid to do, then it should at least make you laugh because - that hair though.  P.S., when deciding what to eat for dinner, eat the salad.  You'll thank me tomorrow. 

"I am strong, courageous, and firm.  I fear not and am not in terror, for it is the Lord my God who goes with me.  He will not fail me or forsake me." - Deuteronomy 31:6