Hate Mail

Have you ever been walking outdoors and stepped on a piece of chewed gum? It's mildly annoying when you can feel it stuck to your shoe, but the practice for most of us who have experienced this is to grab a stick, dig it out and throw it in the trash. Right? Or, how many of you have just left it embedded in the shoe and dealt with the discomfort?  I, for one, can't tolerate the bump in my step when something is stuck in the crevices of my shoe, so I'm quick to remove it, and hopefully with a stick so that I don't have to touch it.  Eeeww.  

Why am I writing about chewed up, used up, useless gum on the bottom of our shoes? Because it was either dirty gum on the bottom of our shoes or neighborhood poo from the local k9 whose owner skipped out on picking it up and disposing of it.  Ever stepped in a pile of that? 💩Yuck (and may every non-poo picking up dog owner fall into the pile they leave for others.  Sorry, not sorry.) I opted for the gum illustration to protect your gag reflexes.  You're welcome. Now, the "why" behind the illustration. I recently received a venomous email from someone, and while this man's thoughts and opinions mean about as much to me as a chewed up piece of gum on the bottom of my shoe (annoying for a minute until it falls off into the abyss of dirty chewed up gum, right?), I still had to reflect over the depth of hatred I picked up from his grammatically embarrassing tirade.  I realized that several years ago, I felt the same depth of loathing and animosity towards him, but today?  Today, he just doesn't mean anything to me, neither good nor bad, and I just don't have the capacity to hold onto hate, especially another man's hate.  I'm indifferent to this man's existence, but I'm also entirely too focused on the parts of my life that are full of light, love, and peace, so anything contradictory to those things just can't co-exist on my life's landscape. I feel no need to assassinate his or anyone else's character, but it got me thinking nonetheless.  How pathetic do we look when we're tearing apart another man's life and character? I don't say that in judgment because I've been there. I've been that pathetic and sad woman who spewed venomous hate towards others, and what I have since learned is this - the judgment we pass on others really does come back to our own soul. I've also been there, and it's a painful place to be.  So, at the end of the day, we must choose to let others own their emotional light or darkness and we own ours.

 Is it easy?  Not always.  In my own situation, I assure you I had some choice words to reply with when I initially read this man's accusations and ignorant summation of my character, but within a few minutes, I realized that responding would only make me look like him and that's just an ugly reflection I never want to see.  Plus, I'm reminded that the Bible says satan (intentionally NOT capitalized) is the "accuser of the brethren" (Revelation 12:10), and that only fools give "full vent to their anger" while  the wise person "holds back quietly" (Proverbs 29:11).  So?  I opted for silence.  Job 13:5 says "If only you would remain silent; for that would be your wisdom," and Proverbs 21:23 says: "He who guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from distress." The list goes on for what God has to say about wise and foolish speech.  Five years ago, I would have responded in kind and sounded as ridiculous as he did in his hate mail, but I'm grateful to see how God has worked in my own heart.  Now, I just feel sorry for him and anyone else who feels the need to unleash such deep hatred. It's a sad internal environment when we carry around that depth of emotional violence for another (1 John 3:15), and I know because I used to be that person. 

Learn to let go of the "hate mail," because your spirit is too precious to God for you to take it in and internalize it.  Don't let that metaphorical gum on the bottom of your shoe get embedded so that you're walking on bumps.  Instead, find the nearest garbage can and toss it in. And then?  Keep walking. Keep moving.  Keep being the light of Christ in a dark world (Matthew 5:14-16).  Counter the hate with a gesture of love.  1 Peter 3:9 says "do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult.  On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing," and if this feels too difficult, then simply stay silent.  Exodus 14:14 says in the English Standard Version: "The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." Give it time, friend. It took me several years to be able to be in this space and respond in love when the delivered package is one wrapped in hate.  Notice how ugly your accuser looks when they're sending out insults and character assassinations.  Now, look in the mirror and ask yourself if you want to look the same.  If not, then let the hate mail be answered with your silence because friend, that's beautiful.  

"Then the high priest stood up before them and asked Jesus, “Are you not going to answer? What is this testimony that these men are bringing against you?”  But Jesus remained silent and gave no answer."

-Mark 14:60-61